I’m not a doctor but I play one at home–I need to stop. I’ve always considered my ability to diagnose through symptom research a good thing. But now I realize some things should just be left alone. I have a number of physical issues from diabetes to my sacroiliac. The doctors blame most everything on diabetes and hip issues. One recent day I found myself in severe pain through the lower half of my body both standing and sitting. Dr. Linda went on an internet search. There it was!

It was as if I had opened a book, pointed to the first thing I saw and said, “Yes, that’s me.” Staring me in the face, almost jumping off the screen came a list of symptoms that read like the story of my life–answers to dangling issues suddenly became clear. I began to question the culprit for most of my complaints as nearly everything I live with was on the list of possibilities for this disease I had never heard of before. The new word that I had found and wrapped around myself was “arachnoiditis.” “AA”, as it’s referred to, is an incurable disease of the spine, not a fear of spiders. 

I felt relieved–I had an answer, I just knew it. But then doom, incurable; nothing was going to take it away. All I could hope for was to stop the progression. My family expressed sympathy as I tried to move without groaning out loud. I answered them with, “It’s not going away. I just have to deal with it.” I asked a friend to back me up on my prayer of courage. She chastised me as she had once before.

She reminded me of the power I was giving Satan by accepting a life sentence of pain, how he would have a field day with me if I did not reject him and his curse. And it was true, I could see it already in my attitude. I wasn’t having a pity party but I was being mentally chained. 

The only way out for me was to let the pain cause me to turn to Father in thanksgiving. I thanked him that I could still feel anything. I thanked him for trusting my faith to win over the pain. I called on Jesus’ name for comfort and I wondered; how long will it be before Satan realizes his plan of pulling me away is pushing me closer. “Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7)

Because I am human I know some days will be harder to stand, literally, “but with God all things are possible,” (Matthew 19:26) and nothing is incurable–not even the fibromyalgia that the real doctor diagnosed me with.  I’m not a doctor but my Father has the cure for what ails me. And to top it off, his insurance plan has prepaid premiums, for life. Who is your insurance carrier?