Years ago a friend said to me, “If you love your kids too much, God will take them away from you.” I became instantly angry! What kind of a god would take my kids from me because I love them too much? For many years I fumed about that thought. I was a prodigal daughter. I had walked away from the church many years earlier. We had a lot of family issues over the years and several chances to interact with local police. Try as I might more and more trouble came our way.

I would lament over what I was doing wrong. My youngest said, “Oh mom, it’s not you. I’m just one of those kids who has to learn the hard way.” And he proved it over and over. At thirteen he was placed in juvenile detention for a year. I only was allowed to visit him two hours a week but I could get an extra hour if I sat with him in chapel and so I did. It was during that chapel time one Sunday that the pastor, looking at the teenage delinquents, said, “If I can reach just one of you…” His hook was out for the kids but he reeled in a bigger catch than he expected. I hunted down that pastor’s church and a couple of years later became the chairman of it. 

Somewhere in there, it occurred to me that my friend had been right. God had to take my son out of my everyday life in order to make room in my heart for His son. It wasn’t because I loved my son too much, it was because I didn’t love Him enough. God wasn’t first in my life. I found the answer to my question. What kind of God would take my kids away? A jealous God! A God who wants us to share life with and in Him. A God who gives and takes away so He can give something better. “You are not to bow down to any other god; since ADONAI [the Lord]–whose very name is Jealous–is a jealous God.” (Exodus 20:5)

“ADONAI gave; ADONAI took; blessed be the name of ADONAI.” (Job 1:21) I was one of the fortunate ones; a gift of mercy from God alone. My son’s life was not required, just five years of separation, but he was never first in my life again. My life has been richly blessed since I began to see that God will move anything that gets between me and Him. Think about who is number one in your heart. Perhaps it’s your spouse or romantic interest, a parent, your career, maybe drugs, alcohol, or like myself, perhaps your kingdom has revolved around your child. Choose God first each day and you will find that everything else will begin to fall into its rightful place in your heart and inner peace will be your reward.